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FREQUENTLY
UN-ASKED QUESTIONS
Q: Who is BAT TALES for?
A: Fans of the
Batman movies; general Batman fans who don't have a problem with
the idea of multiple valid interpretations of characters.
Q: Who is BAT TALES not for?
A: People who
don't like Batman (duh!); obsessives who think "if it
isn't like the comics, it's craaaap!"
Q: What
gives you the right to call your stories a "valid
interpretation"?
A: $5/month for
this website.
Q:
I totally disagree with the way you depict (name of
character). It's wrong.
A: There's
no law that says you have to like my stories. (I'm working on
getting one passed, though.)
Q: Your stories may have Batman characters in them, but they sure
aren't Batman stories.
A: People said
that about Tim Burton and BATMAN RETURNS. Which puts me in pretty
cool company, eh? Not to mention, the movie made about $163
million. When you do
something that earns that much, come back and we'll talk.
Q:
Your (name of character) is nothing like the one in the comics.
A: Does this
look like a freakin' comic book?
Q:
Didn't (name of character) die in the movie?
A: I've
retconned all villain deaths. "I've got the power...."
Q: Dude, you're
mixing movies, pre-Crisis, post-Crisis, and stuff that isn't even in
Batman.
A: I just love a
good bowl of gumbo, don't you? Lots of different flavors and
spices.
Q:
You are so snotty and condescending, I don't even want to read your
stupid stories.
A: I'm actually
a really nice guy. (Just ask my parole officer.)
Q:
Grade the Batman movies.
A: BATMAN A, BATMAN RETURNS A, BATMAN FOREVER B-, BATMAN BEGINS A-, THE
DARK KNIGHT A
Q: What about BATMAN AND ROBIN?
A: We deny that
any such movie exists, or has ever existed. Now, if you'll look
directly at the end of this device....
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